My Crazy Headspace! (I'm so overwhelmed again)

Summer 2021 was so crazy.  I was trying to get back to work during Covid and all the protocol made it so tough.  My mother had passed and I was one of the executor and that was difficult.  I was living with post encephalitis symptoms one of them being anxiety and that made it overwhelming.  The evenings were difficult but with the encouragement from Julie I would head out into the country with my camera.

As I drove I would try to pray but I didn't know what to pray for.  I'm so grateful that God's Spirit intercedes for me when I can't pray.  I ended up in the Friedensfeld area on this particular outing just south of town.  I somehow needed to calm my brain. My emotions were all over the place and I felt like crying.  I'm such a mess at times, and that is the closest I can come to ever describing my bad headspace that I so often will get.  

I drove around but nothing was getting my attention.  I was so frustrated with myself.  My creativity was just not there.  As I was considering going home I came upon this cornfield that was close beside  the road as there was very little ditch.  I looked back at it and decided I should get at least one shot on this outing.  I told my brain as I often did that he had no choice he was getting out.  Getting out of the car was always the toughest part for me. I picked up my D90 with the 10-20mm Sigma lens on along with my tripod and made my way to the corn.  I looked up and saw there was clouds in the sky and there was a little colour showing as the sun was starting to get low behind me.  Now how should I approach this field of corn?  Hmm I decided I'd get right into the corn and angle my camera down just enough so that my image would not be cut totally in half.  I wanted the clouds and just a little different perspective of the corn than I normally would shoot.  I shot off a few images at a few different exposure than went back to the car.  

When I got home Julie asked me if I had gotten anything good?  I said I don't know yet.  Well did you have fun she asked?  I wasn't sure of that either on this particular outing.  There wasn't many images to look at on this particular outing but I zeroed in on this particular exposer.  I think I liked it and so did a quick edit.  I have come back to this image many times and it has really grown on me.  Having said that it still brings back vivid memories of my emotional and mental state at that time.

As I make my way through this journey I'm on, I realize how sensitive I am to noise and those who make the noise.  I'm finding I need to forgive those that do, as they don't realize how they are affecting people around them.  This world is all together too loud for me.  More and more I find a need to get away from all this and that is when I head into the country with my camera.  I'm so grateful that I can do this, I'm so blessed.